Canadian Temperature Guide
50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably,
Canadians plant gardens.
35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
Italian cars won't start,
Canadians drive with the windows down.
32° Fahrenheit (0° C)
American water freezes,
Canadian water gets thicker.
0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat,
Canadians have the last barbecue of the season.
-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes,
Canadians Girl Guides sell cookies door to door.
-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole,
Ottawa canal opens for skating.
-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes,
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops,
Canadians start saying "cold eh?"
-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
Hell freezes over,
Maple Leafs win Stanley Cup.