Canadian Temperature Guide

50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably,
Canadians plant gardens.

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian cars won't start,
Canadians drive with the windows down.

32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
American water freezes,
Canadian water gets thicker.

0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat,
Canadians have the last barbecue of the season.

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes,
Canadians Girl Guides sell cookies door to door.

-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole,
Ottawa canal opens for skating.

-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes,
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-460 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops,
Canadians start saying "cold eh?"

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over,
Maple Leafs win Stanley Cup.


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